The continuing story of Bill and Ben; our robotic psychotic embden geese
Stephen Doyle
Like cockroaches after a nuclear winter, the geese are survivors. Even in times of awful drought they somehow manage to take complete hydrological control of we puny humans and other animals.
A rather nervous looking bloke recently stumbled into the Bloodwood Cellar Door and ordered a Pinot Noir Magnum and a straw. Apparently he is a recovering anatidaephobic (look it up) not at all impressed with the omnipresent Bill and Ben story in the previous newsletter. He nervously cracks the screwcap seal on the Pinot and takes a long uneasy draw on the straw saying:
"Did you know that geese kill more humans than sharks each year?"
"Yes, I say, correct; but let's be fair about it..It's really hard for a goose to kill a shark."
Although... it would be a close run thing in the case of Bill and Ben our robotic psychotic embden geese. Those two feathered fascists dominate what little water we still have in our irrigation dam; so much so that it would not surprise me in the least to find the Loch Ness monster run aground in the shallows any day now. In fact, it’s as if they know how dire the current drought is and they are protecting every last millilitre of water against every other living thing. Wood ducks..out... Plovers be gone..black cattle, single file and only after dark. Those two nasty bastards live life on their own terms and their terms are extortion and battery. They are the original free-marketers of the animal world and in every Titanic situation, they are in charge of the ice.
The next time you visit the Bloodwood cellar door watch out for them because, as you all know, no matter wherever you are in this world or what you are doing, they are watching you.